Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
