i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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