WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
