JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize