Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
