an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Randomize
