I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
