I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
