We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize