Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
