she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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