the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
