Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
