The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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