Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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