Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
