Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
