I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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