between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
