pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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