in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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