Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
