i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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