how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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