There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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