I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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