I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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