I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
