what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
