we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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