it wasn't lemon gatorade
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
