i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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