So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
