i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
