when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
