nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize