One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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