What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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