how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
