No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
