I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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