why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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