I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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