I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
