I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
