I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
