I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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