Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
