I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
