Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
