I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This girl is more easily done than said...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
