Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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