she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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