i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize