Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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