there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
