Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
