I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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