I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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