I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
