it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just invented taco cereal.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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