he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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