My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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