it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
