dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
