You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
