i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
