Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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